Essence Keys

How To Live Life As A New Mom (Living A Balanced Life) – By Essence Keys

Before becoming a mom, everything is balanced, and if you ever felt off somehow, you eventually caught your footing. However, when you become a mom, you try to regain your balance again, but it slips right from under you.

You find out quickly that there are always unplanned adjustments you will have to make. It’s simply about owning who you are and learning to master pivoting, “Adjusting to change.” It will make life much easier when you know how to balance your life as a new mom.

Nothing beats carrying your bundle of joy in your arms and receiving warm congratulations from the hospital, family, and relatives. It’s fantastic to look at your new baby and know you are their mom.

When you’re just in the 1st trimester of pregnancy until you give birth, the changes that happen force you to learn to pivot. You give birth, and it’s time to take the baby home.

I don’t know about you, but for me, both deliveries were unpredictable, and learning to find balance became an everyday journey.

My first son was a NICU baby, and with the second son, my blood count reached a dangerous level that could have ended my life.

 I’m thankful to still be here and to have been able to live through that to share it with you now. I feel both pregnancies gave me a different outlook on life.

Being a mom is beautiful, and you have everything planned before your baby comes into the world. But these little people have their minds. Before you know it, you’re like, “Hey, I thought I was the boss of my life, and now this little person has come along and taken over everything, lol.” 

You think to yourself, “This wasn’t part of the plan.”

You find yourself having fewer hours in the day to do anything, having to wake up every two hours to breastfeed or bottle-feed, feeling like a walking zombie, not having time to go out with friends, and the energy you once had is null, and void.

Yes, becoming a new mom can sometimes be highly stressful and discouraging. Nobody understands you better than me if you’re going through this right now. I have been there, and girl, yes, it does get greater later.

But only if you read and apply the tips in this article. So, if you’re serious about living the best life as a new mom, let’s dive right in.

1.Pivot With Purpose

There will be times as a new mom when things happen unexpectedly, and you should be okay with learning to pivot. As a person who always loved to plan things out, this was an eye-opener and a game-changer for me. 

 I feel that from the time my child left the womb, I was forced to pivot in many ways. For example, I planned on breastfeeding immediately and offered my baby however it took time for me to get the breastmilk going. So I had a choice either give my baby formula or  donor’s milk until my milk came in. This was a hard decision, but it also is when I discovered my “mommy instincts.”

If you follow your mommy instincts, you will make the best decision for your child. It’s important to trust yourself. I also contacted a nurse/lactation specialist who created the donor program and did my research on how safe it was. My doula was also there to give support as well. This was a relief for me.  There is nothing wrong with formula, however I choice to give my baby donor’s milk.

It was a bit discouraging when my milk did not come in immediately. I began to pray and believe that the milk would come in, I just kept pumping with the hospital-grade pump every two hours until the milk came in. When I was able to give my baby my breast milk, I finally felt so excited, and my faith grew stronger.

Another way you can live a well-balanced life as a new mom and pivot with purpose is by allowing enough time to get ready in the morning. For example, instead of setting my alarm 1 hour ahead, I had to add an extra hour to ensure enough time to get ready.

The first step as a new mom is learning to accept the things you can’t change or are out of your control. Embrace the things that happen unexpectedly, and remember to give yourself grace through the process. The proper balance begins when you master the mindset of pivoting through any situation.

Acceptance is the key to pivoting with purpose. You will master being quick on your feet in any situation. Mommy intuition is your power. Tap into that because no one knows your baby like you. Those things you learn along the way and your mistakes will all be worth it. You will be able to shine a light on another mom and share your experiences. This little person has given you the power and ability to pivot with purpose and find balance.

2. Center Yourself

 

You must take the time to put yourself first, as the flight attendants instructs you to do while on an airplane in case of an emergency. That’s to put your mask on first before putting on someone else’s. We all must practice this to function and be healthy. As a mom, I know it can be tempting to always put our children before ourselves, but it’s essential to make yourself the priority.

Sometimes you may feel discouraged, but, let me tell you, it is okay not to be okay. Sometimes admitting to yourself that you are not okay is the beginning of your healing as a new mom. When you center yourself, you begin to breathe.

Sis, have me-time:

As a mom of two boys, I want to ensure they are okay and have everything together. I easily slip into guilt, feeling as if I take too much time to myself, but it’s essential to take some ‘me-time’, even if it’s 30 minutes or an hour. The way I see it, it really matters how you start your day. It shifts the mood and productivity of the whole day. 

You can let the kids know about your me-time, and they will know this is mommy’s “me-time” let’s wait. It’s also okay to teach your kids when me-time can also be essential. The best time to reset yourself is in the morning. I taught my sons morning affirmations to get them pumped up, which always makes them feel motivated and excited about their day. It’s called “Yes I Am” This affirmation allows them to claim their day.

Some things you can do in the morning to reset yourself can be to play your favorite song, pray, make coffee/tea, meditate, run a bath, journal in a notebook, etc. Another thing you can do that helps reset yourself is do something that makes you feel calm, giving you balance. I often pray to reset myself.

Now, there may be times you may not get a chance to reset yourself in the morning, so you must take a moment and breathe any time you start feeling overwhelmed.

When I feel unmotivated or overwhelmed, I give myself a pep talk and say, ” You Got This, Mommy, Just Breathe.” This motivates me, and I want to encourage other moms. How we think and speak about ourselves as a mom matters significantly, so you must practice positive self-talk. This will help you find balance as a new mom.

3. Share The Load With Your Partner

One of the best ways to find balance in your life as a new mom is to involve your partner. There’s a reason he’s referred to as your partner, sis. He has a significant role to play in your new role as a mother. He, too, is a father. “Teamwork makes the dream work.” Our men care and want to feel included, so make sure that when he wants to help, you allow him to do so.

When my husband Stephen and I had our 1st son Stephen Jr, I was up every two hours pumping, and he was able to feed the baby by the bottle simultaneously. It brought us closer because we shared the experience of being parents for the first time.

Our second baby Jeremiah was just the opposite; he was mainly breastfed, but I taught him to hold his bottle and drink from a cup and by straw at an early age to make it easier to ween him off the breast.

You can talk to your partner about a schedule of who would have the baby at what time of day, alternating schedules, etc. It’s also okay to make plans for the child’s future to ensure you both agree.

If you don’t have a partner, you can also coordinate with someone in your life that you trust, who can take out time to assist you and your baby. You don’t have to do this on your own. It’s okay to share the load, and this can help you balance your life as a new mom.

4. Embrace The Assistance Of Friends And Family

It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t make the mistake of trying to do everything on your own. As a mommy, it forces you to let go of pride or fear. It encourages you to let your guard down and be okay with receiving help without guilt.

Being open to extra help will allow you time to catch up on rest and tackle other things on your schedule that were overlooked.

It is essential to share your boundaries with the caregivers, so they know what you are comfortable with regarding your child. Another option is to create an itinerary for each child about what they don’t like, foods, bedtimes, etc. This is helpful for yourself and the caregiver.

Why wait if you have friends and relatives who can help you with some chores and activities? This will be great for you and your child. If your friends cannot assist you, you could seek professional assistance, like finding your ideal day-care where you feel comfortable.

To lighten your load around home duties, hiring a cleaner for the house is one of the best investments you can make as a mom because there can be a lot on your plate that needs to get done.  I have a cleaner that comes on the regular to assist with the house cleaning, and it makes me feel relieved when the house is nice and tidy.

When your home is clean, you will feel a sense of relief. Ultimately, it’s just a way to find balance with life as a new mom and give yourself the rest you deserve.

If you feel overwhelmed, you can speak with a therapist. When it comes to groceries, you can order them online at stores such as Target, Amazon, etc.

5. Set Goals And Reward Yourself For Significant Accomplishment

Hello, Mommy! Even though we try, we are not superwomen. Don’t be so hard on yourself, sis. Set some goals and promise yourself some sweet rewards when you reach them.

You will always be a mom, but you must not lose sight of your dreams and aspirations. We can get so caught up in our titles as moms or wives that we forget about ourselves. Sis, rock that sexy dress with the slit, do your makeup, pursue that business, take some selfies, and work that thang.

You are still a woman at the end of the day, and putting yourself first is essential. Let your kids be the inspiration to stay focused. The only way to begin this journey of having the best life as a new mom is to set small, achievable goals and reward yourself for each box checked.

I love to sing, so I have incorporated songs into things I do, like creating songs for my kids at bedtime. They sing along with me, and it brings me joy when they go right to sleep.

The feeling that comes from accomplishing your goals is always fulfilling. This will improve your mood and motivate you to keep going. And ultimately, it’ll help you balance life as a new mom.

This has been one of the best tips I used to live a well-balanced life as a new mom.

 6. Away With That Day

As a mom, things won’t always go as planned, and there will be days when you want to explode and give up. Hey, I say, “Away with this day.”

Permit yourself to surrender to the day that was not good for you. You can say, hey, today was not a great day for me, but tomorrow I’m going to dominate and accomplish what I set out to do.

This will allow you to get back on track and press the reset button. Learn to laugh at the things that make you uncomfortable as a mom. Laughter is good medicine. Laugh as much as possible because your little one won’t be little forever, so fail your way to the top with a smile.

You deserve all the good things in life for bringing a sweet person into this world. So go out there with a broad chest and enjoy the best life as a new mom.

Well, There You Have It 

So, sis, becoming a new mom can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding things you will ever do. However, with the right strategies and tips in place, you can always find a happy medium between living life as a new mom and all the other responsibilities that come with being a woman.

You can still have romantic moments with your man, go on short trips, and even throw a small party over the weekend.

I believe you can find the best way to enjoy life as a new mom if you follow the points and tips shared in this article.

You Got This, Mommy; Just Breathe.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

I balanced my life with a new baby by using my mom's intuition and following the guidelines based on what the nurses and doctors said. My first baby was a NICU baby who was in the NICU for two months so that I could go back and forth from the hospital to home.

 I had a sneak peek into what it would be like whenever by watching the NICU nurses wrap or hold the baby. They also gave excellent advice on tracking the baby's feeding by writing down the time the baby was fed and, since I was breastfeeding, advised on the best positions to hold the baby in.

 You want to learn to be okay with getting help from your mate, family, friends, or your doula. When you allow others to assist you and the baby, you can give yourself some time to rest.

New moms manage their lives by using what works for them. If you are a person that likes to track things on your phone, you can schedule when to change or feed the baby on your phone, or you can write it down.

 Life as a new mom changes. But you can learn as you go and don't feel the pressure of trying to follow the advice of everyone. The best thing to do is trust your baby and follow its lead because every baby is different.

You can also get advice from other moms you trust on certain things. Most moms forget about themselves, so create a daily schedule, set individual goals for you and your baby, and add self-care as one of those days.

There can be a lot of pressure on a new mom to be perfect for her baby and always know what to do. There are several ways to make life as a new mom easier for yourself.

You could hire a cleaner for the home to assist with home duties, plan out meals, create a schedule you can rely on, try your best to stick to it, and stay positive. There are many ways to make your life easier but trust yourself in every decision.

How do you find balance when living life as a new mom? Please share your thoughts on this article in the comments section below. I'd love to hear from you.

 

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