Essence Keys

10 Ways To Be a Good Mother Instead Of a Perfect One- Essence Keys

There’s one question we always ask ourselves as moms, “Am I a good mother”? 

There’s this constant struggle within to be the perfect mommy. But I want you to take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that there’s no such thing as “perfect.”

In every child’s eyes, their mother is the perfect mom because they come to your aid whenever you need them. 

As children, we think our mothers and grandmothers are perfect, but we later discover that these women were not perfect; they were great mothers in their own right.

In this article, I’ll share ten incredible ways to be a good mother, instead of a perfect one, just for you. So, let’s dive in!

1. Take Care Of Yourself, Boo!

As moms, we are often so concerned about what our children need that we forget to take care of ourselves first. Took a shower lately?

Sometimes the day gets going, and you roll out of bed just to care for your child without a thought about yourself. 

I recommend you get up, shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, do your makeup, and get ready to dominate this day! 

You will win whenever you start your day with a positive mindset. When you win, your child wins, and that’s what matters.

There is a saying, “When you look good, you feel good.”

I had a birthday photoshoot, and it motivated me after seeing the shots that I can be a mom and still slay it, honey!

And when you don’t look after yourself, you won’t have the energy to care for your precious babies. 

A momma who’s too sick or doesn’t quite feel herself lately may feel too gloomy or tired even to get her child good.

2. Set a Good Example for Your Children.

Children learn more from us by observing than by listening to us. The attitudes you display in front of your children will be repeated in front of you.

It can catch you off guard at times when your child repeats something. You’ll laugh at yourself like wow… do I say that?

As a good mother, you want to do everything you can to set a good example for these future leaders you’re raising, so make sure your action and words both radiate positivity.

I don’t know about you, but my kids force me to be faster at self-correction because they watch and hear everything.

You can share your accomplishments with your child and show them with hard work and dedication; you can achieve anything.

3. Support Your Children Through It All.

Good mothers are incredibly supportive. You want to be there for your children in their darkest and brightest moments and to share every single one of those special times. 

As a mom, I love to pray and do affirmations with my children in the morning to help start their day to build up their self-worth.   

I created words that can motivate them in the morning.

I teach them to have a positive mindset at the start of their day; they learn that everything will be fine. 

To be a great mother, you must do whatever you feel is suitable for your child to make them feel uplifted and supported.

4. Pay Attention to Your Children

Sometimes as mothers, we can be so caught up in our work that our child may feel a little ignored. 

It’s essential to spare some time to spend with them, even for an hour or so, just to see how their day is going and how they feel.

You can assist your child with their homework and it will help you learn more about what they know. I love helping my kids with homework  because it gives room for creativity and fun. I also get to see how they learn.

My kids love music like me so they inspired me to incorporate rhythm with words they have to memorize or some became songs that they sing to this day. The hubby jumps in every now in then to join in on all the fun too.

Even though our children are very young, they can go through things with their peers.  

If they come to you about something that may have occurred at school, you must show your support by speaking with the teachers or director about your child’s concerns. 

And if you don’t do this, your child may start feeling neglected and won’t even share any of his or her problems with you.

You will begin to experience their rebellious behavior, so stay connected with your child.

Remember, you are your child’s voice when they are afraid to speak out. This will build their confidence and trust that you will always have their back, no matter what.

You can gain relationships with the teachers, directors,  caregivers, etc  to share your concerns. When you take action by getting involved, you can find out more about what improvements or wins your child has made. 


As a good mother, you want to show your child that you are attentive to them by listening to their feelings and interests.

5. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

It may be challenging sometimes, but you must say what you mean and mean what you say. 

You want your children to trust your judgment and know you are always concerned about their feelings. But you also want them to be the best person they can be.

It’s okay to say no when necessary and stick to your decision. This will teach them that they may not always be able to get what they want, and sometimes the answer is no. 

I’ll admit, even when I want to stick to no, I have said yes because, come on, who can resist those cute faces?

The trick is to strike a balance between being soft and firm. Sometimes, you must be strict with them and make difficult decisions that are better, in the long run, to help shape their future.

Other times, you must be gentle and forgiving. It’s okay to give hugs and kisses when they need affection

6. Don't Compare Your Children To Others.

This is the most common mistake I’ve observed that many mothers make. 

Some parents compare their children to other children. We start becoming overly concerned about whether they hit certain milestones as fast as the other child.

Never, ever do that, sis! Your child has a distinct personality. They will never be the same as anyone else you know. 

So allow them to be themselves. They will grow at their own pace. Some kids grow faster than others, and that’s okay. 

Learn to embrace every stage because time goes fast. Allow them to have the courage to show the world what they have. They have earned it.

7. Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself

Like no two kids are the same, no two mommies are the same. So I want you to always be easy on yourself and never compare yourself to other moms.

Plus, with all the mommy bloggers and influencers on Instagram making everything seem effortless, it’s easy to criticize yourself and constantly think you’re not good enough.

So let go of your inner critic and ensure your internal monologue is full of positivity. 

When I feel overwhelmed, I listen to my favorite songs or tell myself, “You Got This, Mommy, Just Breathe.

It is okay not to be okay confessing that, and doing something about it is the first step.

Mental health is essential, and when you are feeling overwhelmed, sometimes it is a great idea to seek counseling. 

I have a fantastic therapist Love Mcpherson when I’m overwhelmed; that’s my outlet, along with prayer time.

You can work out or do a physical activity to make yourself feel good.

8. Always Communicate Clearly With Your Children

Communication is key in every single relationship.

Even our children deserve to be heard and feel seen; you can do that by taking an interest in their day and being involved in their activities.

When my oldest son Stephen felt like he was being picked on in school, I decided to role played with him and gave him the best words to say to defend himself.

This built his confidence, and he told me that the kids stopped being mean to him when he showed them he meant business. 

It felt good to have a relationship with my child and help them to overcome adversity.

I explained what a friend is and told him that friends don’t do things to make you feel bad. 

It’s so important to build your child’s confidence and let them know that they are essential.

A good mom always shares quality time with her children; you can do that by sharing your daughter’s favorite music or taking an interest in any sport your son likes.

And it’s okay to apologize to your child if you were wrong about something. This will show them that it’s okay to make mistakes; however, the best thing to do is to correct them.

9. Have Realistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations cause nothing but disappointments for you and the child. You can have expectations, but the important thing is deciding to make a plan with your child to set daily goals.

Setting realistic expectations means considering their age, interests, and personality.

You cannot expect a toddler to keep the house as spotless as you left it or a teenager not to cause trouble now and then.

A good mom knows her child and sets expectations accordingly type before expecting certain things from them. 

10. Sometimes Failure is Necessary

As a mom, you only want your child to succeed, but you should remember that failure is a great teacher.

There are certain things a child can only learn through failure, and if you’re always there to fix things for them, they might never learn anything on their own.

So instead of being the perfect mom who ends up making her child too dependent or lazy, be a good mom who looks out for her child but leaves room for failure. 

Frequently Asked Questions

A Good mom is a mother who is willing to spend their last energy, time, and resources to make their child achieve complete wellness and success. Good mothers prepare their children for the world ahead of them. 

A good mom must be loving, kind, and empathetic. She should set a good example for her children and provide support for them. A good mother must also be protective of her children and give them emotional, physical, and social satisfaction. 

To Wrap This Up

Keep yourself around positivity and be easy on yourself. Being a great mom is a skill you learn on the job.

Because you took the time to read this means you care and are a good mom.  You are a superstar! Keep slaying it, honey!

And I’m not here to decide what makes a good mother, but this guide should encourage you to pat yourself on the back and say, “You Got This, Mommy, Just Breathe.”

Please share your thoughts in the comments below on what makes you a good mom or what it means to be a good one. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this article.

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